I had this dream, and I woke up right next to you
Shook you awake, feeling restless and destitute
Tried to tell you everything at once
I couldn’t find any of the words I was hunting
leaving these gaps where their should’ve been something
You seemed so upset when I was done
You calmed me regardless and said, “It’s alright,”
and I tried to stay calm through the rest of the night
But calm wouldn’t come when I kindly invited it
Managed to smile in the morning in spite of it
Thought of my dream, and I figured I’d write of it then
I just got a job that required a new suit
I wore it and itched through my morning commute
Brand new notebook on my knees
The world through the windows from South to North side
from her house to my home seemed so well-organized
with everything at 90 degrees
I wanted to write, but the world that I’d made
was nothing but trouble refusing to fade
I wanted an inside as big as what’s seen
through the eyes of creators, of kings and of queens
But the world that I’m in isn’t nearly as mean as my own
A call knocked me out of my stare, and I answered
A friend in photography now captures dancers
and gets paid just enough to eat
We talked about all that we could for 10 minutes
My train started stalling; our talking went with it
until her tone signaled defeat
She said that a decade’s gone by, and she’s scared
the top of her field won’t leave room for her there
I can’t help but think of a personal place
with islands and ocean and mountains and lakes
I think of a place where the weather is cold
and the heat of one moment is told and retold
I think of a crash and a whale and a boar
and they all keep repeating musical scores
And the thought makes me think of success at its core; I think solemnly,
If I can go, and stay,
and not have to weep ‘til the end of my days,
then I can truly say I’ve made it
If I can go, and stay,
and articulate feelings through shapes in my brain,
then I can truly say I’ve made it
and that I’d made it out alive
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